When ya mom call you to dance and you don’t wanna dance.
when you see an item you love on the sale rack but then realize it was misplaced there
a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows
#in other words they’re asking to be PUNished
if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.
he would be ur fed ex
I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that
having thick ass hair is such a pain i just want smooth thin silky beautiful hair that waves in the wind while the sun shines elegantly in the background
disclaimer: i do not have hair on my ass. i was referring to hair on my head, thanks
gf: come over
me: cant im a dinosaur and i died 65 million yrs ago
gf: im off my period
American Airlines’ number (1-800-433-7300) is only one number away from a SEX HOTLINE (1-800-633-7300) IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING MY FLIGHT GOT CANCELED SO I HAD TO CALL AMERICAN AIRLINES AND THE LADY WROTE IT SO THE 4 LOOKED LIKE A 6 SO I CALLED IT AND THIS LADY JUST GOES ”MMMMM IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU IM SO HORNY” IM LIKE IM SHIT THIS ISN’T AMERICAN AIRLINES FUCK