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I Eat Sluts For Dinner

I would like a slut, medium-well, with a side-order of whore.


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Tagged as: yes,


cosbyykidd:

When ya mom call you to dance and you don’t wanna dance.


Tagged as: yes,

teencry:

when you see an item you love on the sale rack but then realize it was misplaced there

image




saywhatjessie:

rexuality:

a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows 


Tagged as: yes,


blasphemicskeleton:

image




notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that







seansoo:

seansoo:

having thick ass hair is such a pain i just want smooth thin silky beautiful hair that waves in the wind while the sun shines elegantly in the background

disclaimer: i do not have hair on my ass. i was referring to hair on my head, thanks




whetaver:

gf: come over

me: cant im a dinosaur and i died 65 million yrs ago

gf: im off my period

me: image







loveatitsfinest:

American Airlines’ number (1-800-433-7300) is only one number away from a SEX HOTLINE (1-800-633-7300) IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING MY FLIGHT GOT CANCELED SO I HAD TO CALL AMERICAN AIRLINES AND THE LADY WROTE IT SO THE 4 LOOKED LIKE A 6 SO I CALLED IT AND THIS LADY JUST GOES ”MMMMM IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU IM SO HORNY” IM LIKE IM SHIT THIS ISN’T AMERICAN AIRLINES FUCK